Posts by Jef

Filling The Void Of Addiction

I was never addicted to one thing, I was addicted to filling a void within myself with things other than my own love. – Yung Pueblo

In mental health, addiction, Jun 17, 2022

Well Being Theory

Dr. Martin Seligman is someone you’ve probably heard me mention or write about before. He’s the father of positive psychology and a big influence on myself and the authors I’ve read.

In mental health, Jun 01, 2022

Emotional Maturity

We’re talking about the skill of looking for the root cause of a hurt and not getting bogged down by the surface expression of that hurt. That’s some jedi-level emotional intelligence.

In relationships, May 18, 2022

Defining Expectations

How you and your partner define their needs is crucial to meeting them.

In relationships, May 05, 2022

Two Thoughts On Time

In one of the lowest periods of my struggle with addiction, I wondered two things.

In mental health, relationships, addiction, Apr 20, 2022

Emotional Communication Is Hard

I grew up not knowing how to talk about a lot of things. Especially feelings.

In mental health, relationships, Apr 04, 2022

Facing Addiction One Drug At A Time

One of the best things that happened to me was facing my drug addiction. It nearly killed me. But it taught me lessons that kept me alive. Lessons that, fortunately, most people never...

In mental health, addiction, Mar 19, 2022

Win-Win Outcomes Display EQ

EQ (emotional intelligence) is more than just being an empathetic person.

In relationships, mental health, Mar 06, 2022

Emotional Intelligence

Relationships often end with a whimper, not a bang. It’s the small, seemingly insignificant efforts that build connection and earn trust.

In relationships, mental health, Feb 20, 2022

The Way Out Of Imposter Syndrome

I’m the poster child for imposter syndrome. At 34, I started writing code without any previous experience or education. I just arrived hungry and naive but with a good attitude (I kne...

In mental health, Feb 02, 2022

Sober Love

Research by Braithwaite and Holt-Lunstad (2017) suggests that “Individuals who are more mentally healthy are more likely to select into relationships, but relationships are also demon...

In relationships, Jan 28, 2022

Dear Non-Sober People

Research by Lipari and Van Horn (2014) concluded that roughly eighty percent of those with a substance use disorder (SUD) cite alcohol as the substance. It makes sense then that most ...

In addiction, Jan 21, 2022

Dream Ridiculously

If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough. – Muhammad Ali

In mental-health, Jan 11, 2022

The Gift of Heartbreak

Researcher and author Brené Brown (n.d.) contends, “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all men, women, and children. We are wired to love, to be loved, and t...

In relationships, Jan 05, 2022

Addiction Recovery Belongs On A Resume

Here are the top-5, ‘must-have’ resume sections, according to Michael Tomaszewski, Career Expert at Zety (Tomaszewski, 2021):

In addiction, Dec 13, 2021

Don't Wait To Feel Ready

According to Internet Live Stats (Internet Live Stats, n.d.), roughly 7.5 billion blog posts are written per day. In four months that amounts to a trillion blog posts.

In mental-health, Dec 02, 2021

Positivity As A Skill

Positivity is a hard skill to master. It requires working to bolster it and build muscle behind it. It means choosing it over and over until it becomes reflexive.

In mental-health, Nov 28, 2021

Just Go To Therapy Already, Jeez

Why go to therapy? Maybe it’s a last resort. Maybe you want to ‘fix’ things. Maybe the proverbial excrement has hit the fan in your life.

In mental-health, Nov 27, 2021

Embrace Struggling

I volunteer as a mentor at Code Louisville where the mission is “to provide quality training and support to help residents of Louisville enter software development careers at no charg...

In mental-health, Nov 23, 2021

What is this Site About, Anyway?

I am a software engineer, a mental health advocate, and an imperfectionist.

In opinion, Nov 22, 2021

Talking About Sobriety In The Workplace

According to the National Institutes of Health, ten percent of Americans have struggled with substance abuse at some point in their lives (NIH, 2015). That’s over 30 million people. I...

In mental-health, Nov 06, 2021