Emotional Maturity

Jef DeWitt Jef DeWitt Follow May 18, 2022 · 1 min read
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We’re talking about the skill of looking for the root cause of a hurt and not getting bogged down by the surface expression of that hurt. That’s some jedi-level emotional intelligence.

This could stop a lot of conflict in its tracks. This could save relationships.

How many of us can short-circuit our defensiveness, our propensity to find insult and protect our egos when a hurt person tries to hurt us? In real-time? Haha! Not many.

Well, cut yourself some slack. Not everyone has formal education in this area. Even trained psychologists and therapists are still human; meaning that this stuff isn’t easy for anybody.

And let’s be clear, all bets are off when dealing with someone with exaggerated narcissistic traits. Understanding someone’s situation doesn’t excuse their behavior or mean their behavior is any less destructive.

The main idea is to bring more awareness to how you respond in situations like this. Situations that are defined by someone attempting to verbally/emotionally hurt us.

This type of maturity is exemplified in choosing to break out of unhelpful patterns. This is not reacting when someone tries to bait us. This is having compassion for the person’s hurt. This is knowing that someone may not be aware of the source/reason for their own actions.

Some are just playing the same old script in an effort to protect themselves. A script that, in actuality, may not have anything to do with us. We’re just standing in for the person who caused the original hurt that they’re desperately trying to protect themselves from.

Take an extra second and consider the reasons behind someone’s hurtful behavior next time. Remain curious, my friends.

Jef DeWitt
Written by Jef DeWitt