mental health, addiction,

Filling The Void Of Addiction

Jef DeWitt Jef DeWitt Follow Jun 17, 2022 · 1 min read
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I was never addicted to one thing, I was addicted to filling a void within myself with things other than my own love.

– Yung Pueblo

As an addict in recovery, this hits me on levels. Frankly, filling the void with substances was the only thing that made me happy for a time.

After I got sober, my life got better. But the void was still there.

I tried filling the void with a career. Maybe success would fill the void. It didn’t.

Then, I fell in love. For a time, it seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. It wasn’t.

Love Worthy

Years of inner work led me to realize that I didn’t feel worthy of love. That I didn’t think I deserved to be happy. That I thought I had to earn these things constantly or fall behind and never catch up.

After this breakthrough, I wept for an entire weekend.

Finally, I made changes to the way I understood love. It’s not earned. It’s freely given. I learned about acceptance. I practiced self-validation. I integrated all the parts of me, the good as well as the bad, into a whole person. And I still practice accepting who that person is every day. That’s self-love.

External sources only temporarily fill the void. To fill it lastingly, it must come from within. It takes self-awareness. It takes practice. It takes accepting love freely, no strings attached.

Jef DeWitt
Written by Jef DeWitt